Quote of the Week

"I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book! -- When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library."
Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


A'ight, so I've been thinking lately about how many great guys aren't asking great girls out.  In decades past this didn't seem to be such an issue.  I hear the story over and over again from a lot of people.  Guys seem to be afraid of girls.  Why?  Girls seem to be exceptionally picky as well.  I'm not saying that us girls shouldn't be selective and make good choices when it comes to guys, but many good ones are being looked over.  Once again, I ask, why?  It seems as though one tiny flaw becomes a deal-breaker.  I too am guilty of this, but not to the extent of many other young ladies out there.

I've come to a conclusion.  It's not one of those grand, philosophical, answer-all, conclusions, but I think it actually explains a lot.  Look at the books we're reading.  Especially the young adult books.  (Yes, the ones I read and post about.)  How many of the young men in those books are considered "perfect"?  From a young age girls are taught that even though they are average the perfect guy will someday appear and want her undivided attention.  Yes, there are many of us who fantasize about this, but that's just what it is: a fantasy.  There is no such thing as a "perfect" guy.  I fear that some girls out there are looking for him, and they will not find him.  He doesn't exist. 

This is a lot for the guys of today to compete with.  They can't be that perfect guy and quit trying.  My friend Cami said once, "They're afraid to ask out the girls who are worth it."  It could be because if they do one thing wrong or show their flaws, then the girl who is looking for the perfect guy will let him go.

Girls, there are also guys out there that look perfect, say what we want to hear, and dazzle us.  Not all of them are worth it.  Open your eyes to who he really is.  (That goes for the ones you aren't attracted to right away also.)  Stay true to yourself.  I'm pretty sure none of you think of yourselves as perfect, why should you expect that from the man you love?  And guys, the same goes for you.  She's not perfect, and she's never going to be.

I'm not saying we should stop reading these books, because many of them are really wonderful books.  Many are, in fact, some of my favorites.  I think we just need to put them into perspective.  Remember they're fiction and we have our own life story to write.  Books are meant to be read for entertainment and enjoyment and to escape from reality sometimes.  People and characters are often interesting because of their flaws. 


Jernae Kowallis said...

Bravo:) I agree with you! However, I don't think that it's necessarily good to lower expectations too much. We live be the person we want in someone else. Look for someone who's equal to you. Not better, not lesser.

Jernae Kowallis said...

But, I will say...if the guys stop trying...it's their fault. My brother worries about the same thing, and I keep telling him to keep trying, no matter what. Eventually he'll find someone who ISN'T looking for someone perfect.

Mallary said...

No, of course we shouldn't lower them too much, that's why I said to stay true to who you are. Hope for the best and be prepared for when you have to work at it. :) Yes, it is their fault if they stop trying, but I still don't want it to be because they think they're not good enough for me. (It happens a lot.) Let me be the judge of that and not give up before they start.